Going Nowhere, Slowly

There I am again; another day at the office over.

I don't know, somehow it seems like everyday is a bit the same.  I mean I know I can come home after a day of dodging dinosaurs with some wonderful new thing.

But I'm beginning to wonder just what my life is for.

Edwin is incredibly wonderful and I'm so lucky to have him.  He is great in the garden as well as being a fantastic fix-it 'man' and thoughtful in a thousand different ways.  Here he is, growing a bush of that exotic fruit so I'll always have it to hand if I ever get a craving.

With a great guy like that around I do sometimes take myself to task about not being properly grateful for the many wonderful things in my life. 

I think maybe it's age sneaking up on me, I'm feeling like I'm missing something and as I get older I get more desperate to find it.  I'm just not sure exactly what 'it' is.  I have been celebrating my birthdays and Edwin always gets me flowers and gifts but as the birthdays start to add up I don't think those are really the gifts I want.  And what I really want I don't think Edwin can give me.

He doesn't really understand, being a robot I guess he never has to worry about dying or growing old. 

My last birthday he really went all out and created a fantastic new kitchen for me to enjoy.  I'd had enough of pit roasted fish and produce to last me a lifetime so I had created myself a rather rough and ready wood burning stove.  Edwin, bless his metal heart, worked like a trojan during my jaunts away and I now have a proper bench to go along with with the proper stove.  The fridge is a bit of a joke, it's really more of a cupboard and food goes off nearly as fast in there as just sitting outside.  That might be my next inventing job.  Still it's recognisable as a kitchen. and I even have a small table and chairs set.  Not that Edwin takes his meals with me.

Edwin was so delighted with how happy I was with the new add on to our little house that he told me that he was going to work extra hard and make me a lovely proper home.  He's always worked hard but now he's as obsessed with this as I was with time travel.  I wonder if he'll find what he's looking for sooner than I've managed to?

Every day, noon and night, he hops down into the tunnel and heads up there.

He's a robot so he's happiest amongst stuff he can hammer together. 

He made himself a little friend which he loves.

They hang out together.  I'm away a lot of course and usually busy when I'm back so we aren't spending as much time together as we used to.  It's not that we are fighting at all it's just that I'm  looking in the future and the past for something which makes me truly happy and I know that Edwin doesn't quite understand what's going on in my head.  So it's just easier being with another fellow metal dude.  Less hormones.

And he's an appreciative audience.

Edwin keeps working on the new house for me though and although it takes a long time it's finally finished.

Home sweet home.  Edwin even made a set of drawers for all of my clothes that I keep bringing back.

I admit that it looks a little bare but I'm always bringing things back and we'll keep working on it until it truly is a lovely little home.

Some paintings and candles for example.

Edwin insisted on a special dinner for me to celebrate the new home but I think we got the division of labour wrong.  Fish don't fight back as much so Mr Metal Body can do that in future.

It was a good celebration.  To top it all off I had a haircut to celebrate this new chapter in my life, my brand new house.  Edwin worked incrediably hard on this for me, it's my own home, something I've always dreamed of having.  I have a very different and interesting career and I'm my own boss and make my own hours. 

So why do I sometimes think that everything is pointless?

What is wrong with me?