The Cold of Winter Comes from More than the Weather

True Winter has come to the island again. I know from experience that it will be brief but I'm still glad of my fire.

The garden goes dormant in Winter which saves me a great deal of time in having to maintain it.

I've also disposed of two of the beehives. I really don't know how much honey Nemo thought he needed but I don't want to spend the time looking after them.

I don't dwell on it but I know my loneliness is starting to prey on my mind. The other day I built a snowman, making him as lifelike as I was able to and then I stared at my creation and I realised I was willing it to come to life. Frosty the Snowman perhaps?

The island is just as beautiful in Winter as it is in all the other seasons but its pristine snowy whiteness somehow seems to emphasise how alone I am. I don't see many other living things during this time and even the song of the birds seems to die away. 

The 'inventing room' is my preferred hideaway during this time. Not only am I protected from the

elements but the banging and clanging creates an artificial sort of noise which means the silence isn't so loud.

I'm not quite sure what I am looking for when I invent but I'm fairly sure that this swinging ball contraption isn't it. Oh well, it's kinda neat I guess.

Spring comes and washes away the snow. Life will return to the island thank goodness. I'm a bit tired of feeling like I'm the only living thing here.

Nemo used to love jumping in puddles. I've never really tried it but I felt the urge to do what he did. It's quite fun but somehow I think there is something missing. Maybe he did it a different way? Are there different ways of jumping in puddles?

I always wanted a pet when I was at the orphanage and I was never allowed one. Now I'm by myself I can have any pet I like. I remember how much I didn't like being around people and how much I wanted to be alone. Well, now I am and I can have a pet fish here if I want to!

Or maybe not.

Perhaps a pet cockroach would be harder to kill. Lots of people like to collect bugs and things and find them super interesting and fun to talk to and interact with.

Or perhaps a pet dog?  I obviously can't have a real one but a little metal dog has lots of advantages; it doesn't pee in the house, it doesn't need washing or feeding or looking after.  I can still play with it and I don't have all of the hassle of being responsible for its well-being.   

Oh, who am I trying to fool?! I'M SO LONELY!

I wake up lonely, I spend all day trying to not think about how lonely I am and then I go to bed lonely dreading the next day when I have to go through it all again.  I'd give anything to hear a friendly voice.  Or even a not so friendly voice.  Nemo telling me that I smell, an annoying brat from the orphanage, my old school teachers yelling at me for not paying attention during lessons.  ANYBODY!

I can't believe I ever used to wish to be able to live my life completely separate from other people.  They say to be careful what you wish for.  

I'm so, so lonely...