The New Arrival

OK, My life has officially gotten so weird I need to take some time out to write it all down so I can make sense of it all.  Hopefully it will clear my head a bit.

 So, this new kid, Victor, is my son.

Just my son.

Well, I'm guessing there has to be some other father out there but Edwin ain't it.

And how that happened I 'really' have no idea.

I mean I've heard of immaculate conception but even that lady knew she'd actually given birth even if she was a little hazy on the whole father figure thing!  I was there when I gave birth to Wilbur, trust me, it's not something you get blaise about and just forget that you did it.  No one is supposed to turn up after you've been out shopping with a baby in a basket saying 'Here, you left this behind'.  'Oh thanks!  I clean forgot I gave birth today, leave my own head behind one day I expect'.  Just, no.  Not going to happen.

So, then how exactly am I going to explain this to Edwin?  Especially when I have absolutely no idea how it happened.  When it happened! 

Victor doesn't seem to have any information at all on who his actual dad is, just that it's not Edwin.

He seems remarkably unfazed about the fact that he's some child of the future who has now travelled back in time to be with his mother who is currently stuck on an isolated island in some gods forsaken spot in the ocean.  So long as he can go all 'rodeo' on his pony, he's good.

Quite a brave boy really, thinks nothing of time travel and in the short time he's been here he's done his best to turn everything into an adventure.  As if things weren't freaky enough.

The trouble is we just weren't expecting him.  I was thinking I was about to get another baby not this fully grown child who isn't even Edwin's son!

For example at meal times we only have the small table so Victor eats alone outside.

I occasionally try my best to engage with the boy, after all he is my son apparently, but somehow it just doesn't work.

Wilbur is my son in more ways than biological.  He came from my body yes, but I've changed his nappies, held him when he's cried, stayed up all night when he was sick.  I am his mother and I have given him years of my love and affection.  I don't have that past history with Victor and it's isolating him.  He is a stranger amongst us.  But he is my son and I have a duty of care.

Wilbur, Edwin and myself are already alone as we have only ourselves, but he is truly alone and as his mother it keeps me awake thinking about it.

I remember how I felt as a child; first being ignored by Nemo and then in my utter desolate isolation.  I do not want that for my son.

Hence the going back to the books...

As you can see by my facial expressions it clearly hasn't gotten any easier.  Putting together that Time Machine was a cinch compared with this!

But

It does the job.  Once again I am reminded of something so obvious that I didn't see it because it was so obvious.

I have a son who is a stranger, who I feel no emotional attachment to and who feels no emotional attachment to me.

But it doesn't have to remain that way...

Victor.  My Son!